Theater of the Apes
Human see. Human do.
This campaign has ended, but you can still make donations by visiting this fundraiser's general support page.
Donate NowThe Truth About Santa
“A holiday show for people sick of holiday shows… and an epic story with hints of Disney and Greek myth in a warm-hearted family affair.” –The New York Times
New York, NY, US
- $2,618 raised of $8,000 goal
- 28 donations
- -3156932 minutes left
Fiscally Sponsored by Fractured Atlas
Ho ho ho, children! Prepare for the Ragnarök, urm, Santa's return to Off-Off-Broadway as Theater of the Apes and The Tank present the 10th anniversary production of The Truth About Santa by Greg Kotis.
Many people think they know the truth about Santa, but they are wrong. Ho ho ho. Santa has some shocking unadvertised powers, a couple of half-mortal offspring his wife hasn’t found out about yet, and a lot on his mind. He’s tired of those damn singing elves. He’s tired of the lies. This is the Christmas Santa will reveal his true self.
Unfortunately, reindeer chow and low budget productions - like snowflakes! - do not come cheap, despite the elves tendency to throw around phrases like "low budget" (compared to Broadway, they mean.)
Your generous tax-deductible donation will help make the season merry and bright for all the talented performers, designers and directors who are coming together to bring the Truth About Santa to all the good (and bad) little grown up children of New York City this holiday season.
As always, our biggest expense is paying these hard working theatermakers for their efforts. Imagine how good you'll feel knowing you've helped put figgy pudding on their tables. This year, they won't need to scrimp to purchase the coal for their children's stockings.
Oops, Santa takes care of that.
What we're really trying to say is, we really appreciate your generosity, and encouraged by your support. Thank you so much.
Peace on earth, good will to all.
xxx
Ayun Halliday and Greg Kotis
Queen of the Apes and The Silverback
Theater of the Apes
Unfortunately, reindeer chow and low budget productions - like snowflakes! - do not come cheap, despite the elves tendency to throw around phrases like "low budget" (compared to Broadway, they mean.)
Your generous tax-deductible donation will help make the season merry and bright for all the talented performers, designers and directors who are coming together to bring the Truth About Santa to all the good (and bad) little grown up children of New York City this holiday season.
As always, our biggest expense is paying these hard working theatermakers for their efforts. Imagine how good you'll feel knowing you've helped put figgy pudding on their tables. This year, they won't need to scrimp to purchase the coal for their children's stockings.
Oops, Santa takes care of that.
What we're really trying to say is, we really appreciate your generosity, and encouraged by your support. Thank you so much.
Peace on earth, good will to all.
xxx
Ayun Halliday and Greg Kotis
Queen of the Apes and The Silverback
Theater of the Apes
Rewards
Teeny Tiny Xmas Stocking Filled By Elves
Donate $50.00 or more
Amount over $10.00 is tax-deductible.
Do you like teeny tiny things?
Are you anticipating a stressful holiday? Perhaps you'd get through it a bit easier knowing you can shut yourself up in the bathroom and unpack a teeny tiny stocking full of silly little treats, encouraging mottos, and other near-worthless trinkets. Instant sentimental value and copious amounts of goodwill.
The elves will assemble your stocking from their personal stash of teeny tiny things...and mail it straight to you from East Harlem's very own Hell Gate Station!
Are you anticipating a stressful holiday? Perhaps you'd get through it a bit easier knowing you can shut yourself up in the bathroom and unpack a teeny tiny stocking full of silly little treats, encouraging mottos, and other near-worthless trinkets. Instant sentimental value and copious amounts of goodwill.
The elves will assemble your stocking from their personal stash of teeny tiny things...and mail it straight to you from East Harlem's very own Hell Gate Station!
1 claimed
Dickensian Vision
Donate $5.00 or more
Amount is fully tax-deductible.
Imagine playwright Greg Kotis hoisting his son Milo (currently appearing as the doomed elf JoJo) on his shoulders, as Milo shouts, "__(The name of your preferred deity)__ bless us everyone. Yes, Milo was a lot smaller when he played Santa's son, Luke, in the original production, but Greg does karate now.
The more you give, the grander the vision will become! Imagine us cutting the rug at Mr. Fezziwig's feast! Soaring over the twinkling lights of NYC with the Ghost of Christmas present! Falling backward into Scrooge's grave!
This reward is fully tax-deductible - and will remain so should you see fit to donate in an amount greater than $5. Sky's the limit, our gratitude - bottomless.
The more you give, the grander the vision will become! Imagine us cutting the rug at Mr. Fezziwig's feast! Soaring over the twinkling lights of NYC with the Ghost of Christmas present! Falling backward into Scrooge's grave!
This reward is fully tax-deductible - and will remain so should you see fit to donate in an amount greater than $5. Sky's the limit, our gratitude - bottomless.
0 claimed
Your Name in the Program
Donate $10.00 or more
Amount is fully tax-deductible.
Just like a Medici! Though perhaps a Medici would insist on giving more, to let the peasants know who's boss. Choose whatever amount makes you feel big, bad and boss, secure in the knowledge that its fully tax-deductible.
2 claimed
East Village Inky fun pack and subscription
Donate $25.00 or more
Amount over $12.00 is tax-deductible.
When not playing the wrathful Mrs. Claus, Queen of the Apes Ayun Halliday is the creator of The East Village Inky, an award winning, handwritten, hand illustrated, autobiographical zine.
We'll fire off the latest issue, as well as 3 randomly selected back issues, and enter you as a subscriber so that you'll receive the next 3 issues, whensoever they roll off the press. Gosh, won't it be jolly to get something in the mail besides bills and shills from college admissions offices?
If you already subscribe, we'll add 4 issues to your subscription and send the back issues.
Feel free to give it as a gift.
Includes name in the program and Dickensian vision
We'll fire off the latest issue, as well as 3 randomly selected back issues, and enter you as a subscriber so that you'll receive the next 3 issues, whensoever they roll off the press. Gosh, won't it be jolly to get something in the mail besides bills and shills from college admissions offices?
If you already subscribe, we'll add 4 issues to your subscription and send the back issues.
Feel free to give it as a gift.
Includes name in the program and Dickensian vision
6 claimed
Autographed Truth About Santa Script
Donate $25.00 or more
Amount over $9.00 is tax-deductible.
Ho ho ho! Gather round the hearth to act out your favorite Truth About Santa scene from the official acting edition, published by Dramatist Play Services. Careful not to spill your cocoa on the cover. The signature of the playwright makes it a collector's item!
Includes your name in the program and the Dickensian Vision
Includes your name in the program and the Dickensian Vision
0 claimed
Tony Millionaire Coloring Page
Donate $25.00 or more
Amount is fully tax-deductible.
Adult coloring books are a thing, right?
Well, lucky for us, cartoonist Tony Millionaire gave us the black and white line art for his beautiful original poster for The Truth About Santa.
We'll send you a private download link to a PDF that you can print out and color any way you see fit! Have a Xmas eve coloring contest! Just remember that Santa's flying over a flaming city and all the presents are falling out of the sleigh... we don't wanna traumatize any little believers.
Includes your name in the program and Dickensian Vision
Well, lucky for us, cartoonist Tony Millionaire gave us the black and white line art for his beautiful original poster for The Truth About Santa.
We'll send you a private download link to a PDF that you can print out and color any way you see fit! Have a Xmas eve coloring contest! Just remember that Santa's flying over a flaming city and all the presents are falling out of the sleigh... we don't wanna traumatize any little believers.
Includes your name in the program and Dickensian Vision
1 claimed
Autographed Urinetown Script
Donate $35.00 or more
Amount over $15.00 is tax-deductible.
Did your friend / niece / next-door-neighbor's niece's best friend play Officer Lockstock? Blow their minds with this autographed paperback, published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. (The Queen of the Apes will use her considerable influence to get Mr. Tony Award to inscribe a personalized message along with his given name) Careful not to spill your cocoa on the cover. The signature of the playwright makes it a collector's item!
Includes your name in the program & the Dickensian vision
Includes your name in the program & the Dickensian vision
5 claimed
Sweet Grey Suede Lederhosen for the 4T-sized Elf in Your Life
Donate $40.00 or more
Amount over $1.00 is tax-deductible.
Short, gray suede lederhosen, perfect for outfitting any 4-T-sized elf you may have on the premises. The pockets are disguised as dark green leaves, piped in red. The adjustable suspenders and the edelweiss trimmed chest strap that joins them are soft brown suede. The red piped waistband buttons closed on either side - convenient for freeing the recently potty trained elf when nature calls. A real traditional look, liberated unworn from the Queen of the Apes' favorite second hand store. Tis the real traditional deal from leading lederhosen manufacturer Isar-Trachten.
Send us a message to see a photo.
Send us a message to see a photo.
0 / 1 claimed
1 General Admission Ticket
Donate $50.00 or more
Amount over $25.00 is tax-deductible.
See what you're supporting with 1 general admission ticket to the performance of your choice at The Tank in NYC*.
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your ticket to someone in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your ticket to someone in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
(*Subject to availability - leaving this one to the last minute is asking for trouble!)
0 claimed
2 General Admission Tickets to the Truth About Santa
Donate $100.00 or more
Amount over $50.00 is tax-deductible.
See what you're supporting with 2 general admission tickets to the performance of your choice at The Tank in NYC*.
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your ticket to someone in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your ticket to someone in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
(*Subject to availability - leaving this one to the last minute is asking for trouble!)
3 claimed
Original Pen and Ink Portrait of Your Beloved(s)
Donate $100.00 or more
Amount over $25.00 is tax-deductible.
Or hell, yourself, even!
Sweet! Simple! One of a Kind!
The Queen of the Apes will draw your beloved in her patented East Village Inky style for $100.
For each additional beloved, please increase your donation by $25
Does your beloved(s) need to be human? Hell no! She'll draw a pair of snakes if that's who you love best.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will ask you to supply a couple of reference images via email.
Please allow a minimum of 2 weeks for delivery.
Includes name in the program and Dickensian vision.
Sweet! Simple! One of a Kind!
The Queen of the Apes will draw your beloved in her patented East Village Inky style for $100.
For each additional beloved, please increase your donation by $25
Does your beloved(s) need to be human? Hell no! She'll draw a pair of snakes if that's who you love best.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will ask you to supply a couple of reference images via email.
Please allow a minimum of 2 weeks for delivery.
Includes name in the program and Dickensian vision.
3 / 10 claimed
1 Reserved VIP ticket to The Truth About Santa
Donate $150.00 or more
Amount over $25.00 is tax-deductible.
See what you're supporting with 1 reserved VIP ticket to the performance of your choice at The Tank in NYC*.
We can't offer you plush red velvet seating or golden ropes, but we will print your name in our best handwriting and tape it to the best seat in the house! Is that a candy cane taped to the chair arm? Yes. Yes it is. For god's sake, unwrap it BEFORE the show.
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your ticket to someone in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
We can't offer you plush red velvet seating or golden ropes, but we will print your name in our best handwriting and tape it to the best seat in the house! Is that a candy cane taped to the chair arm? Yes. Yes it is. For god's sake, unwrap it BEFORE the show.
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your ticket to someone in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
(*Subject to availability - leaving this one to the last minute is asking for trouble!)
0 claimed
2 Reserved VIP Tickets to The Truth About Santa
Donate $200.00 or more
Amount over $50.00 is tax-deductible.
See what you're supporting with 2 reserved VIP ticket to the performance of your choice at The Tank in NYC*.
We can't offer you plush red velvet seating or golden ropes, but we will print your name in our best handwriting and tape it to the best seats in the house! Are those candy canes taped to the armrests? Yes. Yes, they are. For god's sake, unwrap them BEFORE the show.
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your tickets to two New Yorkers in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
We can't offer you plush red velvet seating or golden ropes, but we will print your name in our best handwriting and tape it to the best seats in the house! Are those candy canes taped to the armrests? Yes. Yes, they are. For god's sake, unwrap them BEFORE the show.
Be sure to point out your name in the program to all the other audience members, because that's included too!
If you're out of town, or like to play at Santa yourself, we will be happy to donate your tickets to two New Yorkers in need.
Once you've selected this reward, the Queen of the Apes will be in touch to reserve the desired performance:
(*Subject to availability - leaving this one to the last minute is asking for trouble!)
0 claimed
St. Lucia's Day INSANITY - costumed early morning bun delivery in NYC
Donate $1,000.00 or more
Amount over $20.00 is tax-deductible.
Why so expensive? Because it's insane. Who is going to want this?
Treat your friends, your enemies or yourself to an early morning visit from St. Lucia herself on December 13. She'll arrive in a white nightie and a wreath of candles on her head, bearing a basket of buns for the recipient to eat in bed. She will sing the Xmas carol of your choice.
Traditionally, this role is inhabited by the youngest daughter in a family, but for you, St. Lucia will be brought to life by the Queen of the Apes.
This option is limited to Manhattan, though it MAY be possible in certain parts of the Bronx, Brooklyn and Queens. (sorry Staten Island!)
Please choose a 1 hour arrival window between 6am and 11am. We can, with prior arrangement, negotiate another delivery date, or time.
God, I hope someone picks this.
Treat your friends, your enemies or yourself to an early morning visit from St. Lucia herself on December 13. She'll arrive in a white nightie and a wreath of candles on her head, bearing a basket of buns for the recipient to eat in bed. She will sing the Xmas carol of your choice.
Traditionally, this role is inhabited by the youngest daughter in a family, but for you, St. Lucia will be brought to life by the Queen of the Apes.
This option is limited to Manhattan, though it MAY be possible in certain parts of the Bronx, Brooklyn and Queens. (sorry Staten Island!)
Please choose a 1 hour arrival window between 6am and 11am. We can, with prior arrangement, negotiate another delivery date, or time.
God, I hope someone picks this.
1 / 2 claimed